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Hash It Out · Track 14 of 20

I STub My TOE Going PP

Jarrett Heintz · 2:41 · Released 28 September 2025

  • Build It Right
  • Governance & Risk
  • Exam Room
  • Common Criteria
  • Architecture
  • Hash It Out — the album
  • Everything, A to Z
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Lyrics

  1. We now begin... the journey of assurance.
  2. From mainframes… to madness...
  3. ISO 15408...
  4. Let’s stub some toes.
  5. Don’t get it twisted — let’s get precise:
  6. Evaluation checks if it functions nice.
  7. We look at the product — dig through the code,
  8. Was it built right? That's the evaluation road.
  9. Certification? That’s the gold star,
  10. "You passed the tests, you came this far."
  11. But listen up, fam — this ain’t a trick:
  12. Accreditation ain't in the Common Crit.
  13. Accreditation’s for the whole dang org,
  14. Policies, people — the bigger board.
  15. But Common Criteria? It's just the tool
  16. To evaluate products, by the rule.
  17. S – T – S – T – STubbed my TOE…
  18. Right when I was goin’ P – P, bro…
  19. Shouted “Ouch!” like an audit fail,
  20. But I passed my test — E. A. L.!
  21. S – T – STubbed my TOE…
  22. Goin’ P – P with an S – T flow…
  23. Got evaluated in front of my crew —
  24. ISO 15408 came through.
  25. Back in the day it was TCSEC,
  26. Orange Book vibes, check by check.
  27. Then Europe dropped ITSEC style,
  28. Mixin’ functions with assurance files.
  29. But two became one in a global call,
  30. ISO 15408 stood tall.
  31. Now Common Criteria’s the frame we trust,
  32. Eval for security, ironclad and just.
  33. It's the standard, the global path,
  34. TOE in scope, and ST math.
  35. PP’s got goals, ST brings claims,
  36. This is structured trust — not games.
  37. S – T – S – T – STubbed my TOE…
  38. Walkin’ blind through that P – P show…
  39. Fell into a config trap,
  40. But I bounced back with a testin’ rap.
  41. S – T – STubbed my TOE…
  42. Yelled out loud like a debug pro,
  43. They checked my logs and cleared my name,
  44. E. A. L. levels in the Hall of Fame!
  45. E. A. L. ONE — “It works, I swear.”
  46. Minimal doc, just sayin’ it’s there.
  47. TWO says “We looked and saw,”
  48. Basic testing, maybe some flaw.
  49. THREE means method, planned and clean,
  50. Your test process? Now it’s seen.
  51. FOUR is where most folks go,
  52. Best you can get with no dev-time flow.
  53. FIVE brings in structured design,
  54. Semi-formal docs in line.
  55. SIX gets deep — full lifecycle proof,
  56. Source review and testing truth.
  57. SEVEN? Oh, that budget’s tight...
  58. Formal math, it’s NASA-night.
  59. It’s real, it’s strong, it rarely lands,
  60. But it’s the peak of assurance plans.
  61. And don’t forget — it’s not just “Does it work?”
  62. It’s how it’s built — that’s the lurk.
  63. We test both path and function too —
  64. That’s what EALs were made to do.
  65. S – T – STubbed my TOE goin’ PP...
  66. Tripped on a claim in the audit spree…
  67. Landed hard but they ran the test,
  68. Now I’m ISO 15408-blessed.
  69. S – T – STubbed my TOE…
  70. Left my ego in the ST flow…
  71. Evaluated, certified, sleepin’ tight —
  72. That’s a Common Criteria night.
  73. Stubbed... my TOE...
  74. Goin’... PP...
  75. Certified dreams...
  76. Under ISO...
  77. Fifteen... four... oh... eight...
  78. ...Evaluation complete.