Cover art for Still a Person

WPA3-KCIA Radio · Single

Still a Person

Jarrett Heintz · 4:27

  • Security Culture
  • Identity & Access
  • Build It Right
  • Incident Response
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  • Human Layer
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Lyrics

  1. Six A-M and the ticket queue's hot,
  2. Every firewall screamin' at the edge of the slot!
  3. A phishin' kit dressed up like H-R,
  4. Payload hotter than a jitterbug car!
  5. Phone starts ringin', some stranger on the line,
  6. "This is I-T, pal — everything's fine,
  7. I just need your password real quick, hepcat —"
  8. And Larry types it in, well how 'bout that!
  9. So it's patch and pray, then pray and patch,
  10. But the weakest door ain't got no latch —
  11. Malware hittin' the edge,
  12. Whole lotta hacker revenge!
  13. When there's an open port,
  14. The code they throw can distort!
  15. So firewalls and I-P-S,
  16. Keep the hackers out, I guess —
  17. But if you ask a brave admin
  18. Just what you hope is ACK or SIN,
  19. Your day the bad guys will worsen,
  20. 'Cause every hacker knows the weakest link —
  21. ...is still a person!
  22. Patch Tuesday, but we're thirty weeks late,
  23. C-V-E's are stackin' up on the plate!
  24. The C-I-S-O's groanin' cuz life is sadder,
  25. Knowing anyone can get in with a ladder.
  26. M-F-A? Sure, we flipped it on —
  27. For everybody but the execs upon!
  28. Every control we bought, every box we checked —
  29. Social engineerin' strolls right past, unchecked!
  30. So it's patch and pray, then pray and patch,
  31. But the weakest door ain't got no latch —
  32. Malware hittin' the edge,
  33. Whole lotta hacker revenge!
  34. When there's an open port,
  35. The code they throw can distort!
  36. So firewalls and I-P-S,
  37. Keep the hackers out, I guess —
  38. But if you ask a brave admin
  39. Just what you hope is ACK or SIN,
  40. Your day the bad guys will worsen,
  41. 'Cause every hacker knows the weakest link —
  42. ...is still a person!
  43. You can buy a S-I-E-M the size of the moon,
  44. Correlate every log from June to June!
  45. Pen-test, segment, throw your money 'round —
  46. Dave in accounting's in pop-up town!
  47. You can lock the front, you can bar the back,
  48. Rig alarms for every possible attack —
  49. But Carol at the desk, well, bless her heart,
  50. Let the "plumber" in without a single chart!
  51. Look. You can airgap the whole operation.
  52. You can lock it in a vault at the bottom of the ocean.
  53. Somebody's still gonna use their dog's name as a password.
  54. And they're gonna write it on a sticky note.
  55. (One — two — three — four!)
  56. Malware hittin' the edge,
  57. Whole lotta hacker revenge!
  58. Every vector, every door —
  59. They'll find one you ain't closed before!
  60. So your firewalls and I-P-S,
  61. And your blue team doin' their best —
  62. But if you ask a brave admin
  63. Just what you hope is ACK or SIN,
  64. Your week, your month, they'll worsen,
  65. 'Cause every hacker knows the weakest link —
  66. ...is still a person!
  67. Rotate your keys.
  68. Update your training.
  69. Change your passwords.
  70. (Please.)
  71. Run your audits.
  72. Hunt your threats.
  73. It won't matter.
  74. Somebody's gonna click.