Cover art for The Six Phases of El Dorado

WPA3-KCIA Radio · Single

The Six Phases of El Dorado

Jarrett Heintz · 3:28

  • Incident Response
  • Everything, A to Z
  • Incident Block
Play on WPA3-KCIA Radio

Lyrics

  1. (Call and response, cowboy posse-style)
  2. Cowboys:
  3. Phase One!
  4. Leader:
  5. PREPARE!
  6. Cowboys:
  7. Saddle up and lock it down...
  8. I rode through networks no man scans
  9. Wrote my playbooks with tremblin’ hands
  10. They say to hope, I say to plan
  11. Kept my powder dry and mapped the land
  12. Signed my keys, I locked the gate
  13. Wrote down roles, aligned with fate
  14. Trained the ranch hands, patched the floor
  15. But still… I knew there’d be one more
  16. Cowboys:
  17. Phase Two!
  18. Leader:
  19. DETECT!
  20. Cowboys:
  21. Find the ghost before it draws...
  22. The wind changed 'round the old VPN
  23. A whisper in the logs, a trace again
  24. A trigger tripped at 4:03
  25. Outbound calls that shouldn't be
  26. The SIEM lit up in red and rust
  27. I smelled the breach, I felt the dust
  28. A rogue payload in disguise
  29. I saw it clear with cowboy eyes
  30. Cowboys:
  31. Phase Three!
  32. Leader:
  33. CONTAIN!
  34. Cowboys:
  35. Cut the cords and hold the line...
  36. Cut the cord, yanked the lead
  37. Quarantined the compromised thread
  38. Stopped the spread with a steel-tight grip
  39. Dug a moat ‘round that sinking ship
  40. Segmented off the danger zone
  41. Burned the creds down to the bone
  42. She begged me not to pull the plug
  43. But trust is poison dressed as love
  44. Cowboys:
  45. Phase Four!
  46. Leader:
  47. ERADICATE!
  48. Cowboys:
  49. Leave no trace behind…
  50. I found the root, dug it deep
  51. No kernel panic, no secrets keep
  52. Wiped the scripts, torched the logs
  53. Hunted every backdoor in the fog
  54. The registry cried, the BIOS wailed
  55. Even ghosts in RAM were jailed
  56. When I clean, I clean with fire
  57. Every trace, every wire
  58. Cowboys:
  59. Phase Five!
  60. Leader:
  61. RECOVER!
  62. Cowboys:
  63. Bring it back from the grave…
  64. New images, fresh installs
  65. Restored the town and patched the walls
  66. Ran the tests, scanned for trails
  67. Rode the border 'til backups held
  68. She came back online with a sigh
  69. No more pings in the night sky
  70. But trust, like uptime, never lasts
  71. One restore closer to the past
  72. Cowboys:
  73. Phase Six!
  74. Leader:
  75. LESSONS LEARNED!
  76. Cowboys:
  77. Never let the same ghost ride twice...
  78. Sat down with whiskey, just me and the log
  79. Read every line through the digital fog
  80. Documented every scream
  81. Turned our scars into a dream
  82. Wrote the tale in audit trails
  83. Tattooed it in threat intel
  84. They’ll call it myth, or policy
  85. But I lived it — just ask me
  86. We ain’t your heroes
  87. We’re the ones who ride when things go black
  88. Walkin’ quiet through the wreckage
  89. With a firewall on our back
  90. From El Dorado to the cloud
  91. We chase down every track
  92. ’Cause incident by incident…
  93. We always ride back