Cover art for What's in the Box?!

WPA3-KCIA Radio · Single

What's in the Box?!

Jarrett Heintz · 4:09

  • Build It Right
  • Everything, A to Z
Play on WPA3-KCIA Radio

Lyrics

  1. It was a dark code night, and the test began,
  2. We cracked open boxes with a trembling hand—
  3. The white one said “here, take all my keys,”
  4. Transparent like ghosts on a zero-trust breeze.
  5. “You see it all, from source to flow,
  6. So test my guts and make me glow!”
  7. But from the shadows, a millennial shock:
  8. They screamed aloud—"WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!"
  9. What’s in the box?! What’s in the box?!
  10. Malware snacks or seven locks?
  11. I’ll only know with code review,
  12. Or if it’s dark—inference too.
  13. A payload grins, a scanner knocks,
  14. But no one knows what’s in the box…
  15. The grey box moaned, “you get some of my soul,”
  16. Just enough knowledge to lose control—
  17. Half a map and a shady guide,
  18. Functional chaos on the testing ride.
  19. Dynamic scans and static screams,
  20. Coverage gaps in developer dreams—
  21. “Don’t look too hard, or you’ll unlock the locks…”
  22. But then they gasped—“WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!”
  23. What’s in the box?! What’s in the box?!
  24. Malware snacks or seven locks?
  25. I’ll only know with code review,
  26. Or if it’s dark—inference too.
  27. A payload grins, a scanner knocks,
  28. But no one knows what’s in the box…
  29. Then came the black box, cold and sealed,
  30. No info given. Just fate revealed.
  31. You poke and prod from outside the shell,
  32. Guessin’ what's inside like a dev from hell.
  33. “But sir, I’m a black box, not a black hat,
  34. Boxes ain’t hats, so don’t confuse that!”
  35. The monster groaned as the logic popped,
  36. Then it muttered low—“Don’t ask what’s in the box.”
  37. What’s in the box?! What’s in the box?!
  38. Malware snacks or seven locks?
  39. I’ll only know with code review,
  40. Or if it’s dark—inference too.
  41. A payload grins, a scanner knocks,
  42. But no one knows what’s in the box…
  43. Fuzzing time! They fed me trash,
  44. Malformed bytes in a binary bash!
  45. I burped up logs, I threw a fit,
  46. My logic broke—and then I split!
  47. I once was functional, full of glee,
  48. “Do what I’m told,” that’s the test for me—
  49. But my sibling lurked in a darker lair,
  50. The non-functional with deadpan stare...
  51. “I measure cold things, like scale and speed,
  52. And failure to fail when stress decreed.”
  53. They ran performance ‘til time unlocked,
  54. Then bradly screamed—“WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!”
  55. What’s in the box?! What’s in the box?!
  56. Malware snacks or a thousand locks?
  57. I’ll only know with code review,
  58. Or if it’s dark—inference too.
  59. A payload grins, a scanner knocks,
  60. But no one knows what’s in the box…
  61. (faint whisper)
  62. What’s in the box…
  63. ...don’t ask what’s in the box...
  64. even brad doesn't know what's in this box.